Nov. 14, 1861. Capt. Hopkins man came from Pilatka said Winston was well but brought no letters there must have been some mistake, I sent a letter by him.

[Octavia Stephens to Winston Stephens]

                                                                                                "Rose Cottage" Nov 14, 1861

My dear Husband

                You dont know what a state of suspense and anxiety I have been in since Mr Parker came last Friday morning, I have watched for you every day since then from daylight until I went to sleep at night until last night.  I wrote a note to Mr Smith (whom I suppose you know has been to Palatka) and his reply made me feel worse than ever, for he not only did not send me a letter from you, but said that you were to go to Jacksonville yesterday to muster in, and told Ben of the fleets attacking two or three places, and I of course supposed & do suppose that you will hurry to Fernandina or St Augustine, and oh you dont know how I feel when I think of it, would to heaven you had never left me.  It seems so long since I heard from you, it seems as though you miss every chance of sending to me, when Mr Parker came I went out to meet him thinking of course that he had a letter for me, but was sadly disappointed, but from what he told me I began looking for you the next morning and put "your name in the pot" for dinner although Mother & Ben did not expect you until afternoon, and I did not give you up until last night.  oh I dont know what I would have given to have seen you last night, the boys carried my note to Mr Smith after supper and we sat up until eleven waiting for them, & I began to feel really sick from suspense, and felt as though I was going to hear something unpleasant.  Joe waited in town all Monday morning waiting for the boat, & Tuesday morning Ben & Georgie went over to see if any news of the boat had come (for we supposed her aground as it was very foggy).  They found Mr Smith getting ready to go to Palatka, so it was too late for me to think of sending anything, so I concluded to wait patiently until his return.  thinking of course if he did not see you & bring me a fresh letter he would bring the old one which I suppose you wrote by the mail, but not a letter came.  You do not know how my feelings changed while washing dinner dishes to day, for Jane came up & said that Jacob had passed from the Bluff with letters for Mrs Hopkins and said that Capt Hopkins had returned to Palatka, but I can not understand from Jane whether he said you were going to leave tomorrow or Wiley.  I suppose I will hear more when Jacob comes for this, I can not imagine why you did not write by Wiley, unless Capt Hopkins sent him directly off as soon as he arrived from Jacksonville.  I hope it was ignorance of the chances prevented your writing not want of inclination.

                Burrel and Henry left last Friday morning with Clark & the three boys for Smyrna.  Ben missed his fever on Thursday, but looked badly & I thought he ought not get up in the middle of that night for the first time & start on such a journey, but said nothing to him, but Burrel did not want him to go in such a condition and spoke to Clark about it, & he gave up that night, Burrel said if Ben went he should take Tom, but when he found Henry could go in Ben's place said he would not take Tom, I felt very sorry for Ben, but was glad he did not go, for he looked so badly, Mother broke his fever with quinine.  I believe I wrote you that Joe had one the same day that Ben had his second, he did not have any more, all I gave him was ginger tea while he had the chill & fever, I made some of "Old Maria's stew" that afternoon but no one has needed it yet, Sarah gave up again last Monday night, she had never been free from her fever since the time you were here, I dont know what to do with her.  Rosa has got to be pretty much herself again, but I have to be very particular about her diet, her tooth does not seem to come forward very fast, if at all, she tries very hard to talk, she jabbers a great deal, calls a bonnet hat or anything to put on the head bahtah and loves to eat her "ta ta" with a fork very much, I wish you could see her dont your heart have a yearning for her sometimes, dont you ever feel a "honcing" to see her.  If I only knew when to expect you I perhaps never, oh I do hope this hateful fleet will pass us by.

                We have four fine banks of potatoes besides the seed, the cut ones were so few that I had them, & the watermelon rows put in the smoke hours, the latter were so small, while Burrel was banking, & I was talking to him some one came & said that some one had been in the lot patch again, but he said he would look for himself, & came back & said it was a false alarm, & I believe they have not been troubled since. The cotton is not very thick, for two or three days last week 49 was the highest picked in a day. I mean all put together. It was thicker in the New Ground & Peach cut, where they are now, all the hogs excepting the wild sow & those at town are in the potatoe patch.

                I believe I wrote you that I was to send Burrel to help Clark kill the steer, well they hunted for it most of Thursday morning, & at last gave up & Clark divided his beef with me which was not enough quite for the rest of the weeks allowance.  I gave them syrup this week as Burrel said potatoes hurt them, Jane said gave them heart burn, they have been possum hunting often, one night Jane & Rachael went with them & killed a fine possum, Ben has killed a few squirrels for us, they started fishing but found that some one had stolen their poles.  I have killed quite a number of chickens yet have had no meat some days.  Oh! Mrs Parker wants to get some syrup from me & do sewing to pay.  I told Mr Parker the morning he was here & I gave him a little for the child, that I thought you would not like to spare it, would you?  seems to me it runs slow anyhow.  I carried Mrs Parker a few peas, potatoes, & fifteen or sixteen ears of corn the day before Mr P came.  Well my dear I must stop now and have this all ready when Jacob comes.  Mother sends love & says we are doing our best to keep up our spirits, & that Rosa has not learned to love her as well as you yet.  Do make haste and come home, dont let the Capt boss you too much and keep you there, when you can come.  Good bye my dear husband, God bless, protect and bring you back safely to us is the prayer of your

                                                                                                loving Wife